How Do I Look?
James Frain on how childhood dress up games turned into a way of life when he became an actor
by Fiona McClymont - The Independent September 8, 2001
I consciously attempt not to care about my appearance. I don't know how
successful I am. If you're going to be an actor, it's a real trap to
worry about it too much, you'd just become a bore. Sooner or later
you'll either have to have cosmetic surgery or learn to live with what
you've got. `Sorry, you donīt look rightī - you hear it all the time
when you go up for jobs. I must have heard every possible objection,
some bizarre and irritating and insulting things. Itīs always
bollocks. Those kind of complaints usually come from the money people.
Directors just want the actor who they feel is right for the role, but
they have to fight a battle with a lot of other people who want to be
reassured that this person has market value. If they think that youīre
going to be a safe bet financially, all those objections just disappear
and suddenly you look just fine.
When I first started out, I was very idealistic. I thought that all
people cared about was that the acting was good and you transformed into
the character. Iīm fascinated with pretending to be other people and
imagining what other peopleīs experiences might be like. I played with
the dressing-up box a lot when I was young - donīt all kids? The
character I play in Armadillo, Lorimer Black, has the same fascination.
Heīs chameleonic, like an actor. Itīs almost like heīs a private
eye whoīs permanently under cover and shifting shape. The whole idea
of deception and disguise is something that you take into your acting.
You canīt over-dramatise it or it becomes too flamboyant and
theatrical. Itīs the subtle changes that we all manage all the time
that you tap into.
When you're playing a role, how you make yourself look on the outside is
about reassuring yourself, making yourself feel safe. I lost a lot of
weight when I played the title role in Vigo [in Julien Temple's film of
the life of Jean Vigo]. I wouldn't like to have to do it again, I was
really skeletal. It seemed important at the time, but now it seems
rather a strange thing to have done. I was a bit keen, I think. But it
is more fun to change your looks in some way - it's that part of you
that just likes dressing up and wants to have a wig and a beard. When
you're acting, you just want to feel comfortable and confident that
you're somehow magically transforming yourself. It's always vaguely
depressing afterwards when you see yourself and it only ever looks like
you.
I sometimes fantasise about what it would be like if I could change
myself. There's a Peter Carey story called "The Chance" which was set in
the future where you could go into this kind of passport booth, put
money in and all your genes got rearranged. But you don't know whether
you're going to get more beautiful or more ugly - it's a lottery. I
might want to make myself more perfect looking, but would I still feel
like me? These days, when I watch myself on screen, I see my brother or
my mother in the way that my nose twists or the way my teeth gather. You
can see all the genes going on and it's kind of amazing.
You don't have that much control over how you look on screen - it's
dependent on the photographer, on how you're lit, how they do your hair,
how they want to present you. Sometimes you turn up and they've got a
very strong idea of how they want you to appear and they'll win that
battle. There have been times when I've looked at stuff of mine and
thought: 'shit, that looks bad'. You could get neurotic about it, but
what's the point? I was working in LA for almost a year and it was quite
mad because, for the most part, everyone looks astonishing. Most people
are just really damn good looking. Fortunately, European actors have a
sort of exotic charge - people are like, "Oh wow, you're British? You're
like a real actor!" They think you've had some magic training, like
you're a Jedi Knight or something. It's bullshit of course - but no need to tell them.
"Armadillo" (adapted from the William Boyd novel), a three-part drama,
begins on BBC1 on 16 September.
(Copyright 2001 Independent Newspapers (UK) Limited)
I must give a BIG THANK YOU to frain fan Teri who so graciously paid money out of her own pocket to obtain a copy of this interview.
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